Writing Your Own Obituary

There is an personal development exercise where you are asked to write you own obituary. I have a feeling that this obit wasn’t written by Dolores.

Dolores Aguilar 1929 – Aug. 7, 2008

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too.

But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

A very sad commentary on what I am sure was a very difficult life.

In reality, we write our obituary everyday by the choices we make. Our obituary will be the sum total of how we decide to spend our lives here on earth. Will our obits look anything like the sad story above? Or will they be filled with stories of who we touched and how we touched them?

There is a great difference between living a life and living a meaningful life. What gives a life meaning? That is one of the great questions of life. But, I’m sure, it will have something to do with how we spend our dash.

Your Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on his tombstone
From the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came his date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years. (l907-l999)

For that dash represents all the time
That he spent alive on earth…
And now only those who loved him
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars…the house…the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile…
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
With your life’s actions to rehash…
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

When you were born, you cried, and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

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One Response to “Writing Your Own Obituary”

  1. rnobilitynotraein Says:

    Excellent friend… Much Peace, Rich

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